What’s this all about?


To Hoekstra is to whine using grandiose exaggerations and comparisons.

It all started with a simple, foolish tweet. On June 17th, GOP Congressman Pete Hoekstra compared the life and death struggle of Iranians trying to get their message out via Twitter to the Republican Party’s tussle with Democrats. (See quote above.) The Twitterati began satirizing Hoekstra’s tweet (see lulz below).

And that’s how the Hoekstra meme was born.

Leave us your Hoekstras in our comments.


116 Responses to “What’s this all about?”

  1. d knox Says:

    i burned myself with a match today. now i know what hiroshima must have felt like.

  2. DJShay Says:

    My folks made me mow the yard when I was a kid. Now I know what child labor in Taiwan feels like.

  3. MMCQuarterback Says:

    I ran out of milk this morning. It was just like the famine in Africa.

  4. Ookla Says:

    I agree with this meme concept, and that’s just like drinking the Kool-Aid at Jonestown!

  5. Eddie Says:

    When I struggled with my brother for remote control, I almost sang Les Miserables, so similar were my struggles to those of Third Estate peasants in the French Revolution.

  6. Will Says:


    I lived through eight years of the Bush administration. It was kinda like getting bananas in your sundae even though you asked for no bananas.

  7. phuckerpants Says:

    I turned my ankle today and now I know just how Christopher Reeves felt.

  8. Matt Says:

    The riot police running riot through Tehran University beating students to death is just like what I experienced when I was admonished by a cop for urinating in public while out drinking with some of my fraternity bros.

  9. Steve Says:

    I was short-changed five cents at McDonald’s today. Now I know what those Madoff victims feel like.

  10. googleplex Says:

    I locked myself out of the bathroom this morning. Now I know what it felt like to be a victim of 200+ years of racial segregation!

  11. Heh Says:

    I started saving an extra 5 dollars a week to prepare for possible unemployment. Now I know what it was like for Noah to build his Ark.

  12. IndieTarheel Says:

    I forgot to put my contacts in this morning. Now I know just how Stevie Wonder feels.

  13. pachydiplax Says:

    I was at the zoo today and watched a chimpanzee fling his poo. Now I know what its like to cover a republican news conference.

  14. Thoroughly Pizzled Says:

    I fell in a mud puddle today. Now I understand what D-Day was like.

  15. Thoroughly Pizzled Says:

    I dropped my glasses today. Now I know what it was like to be Helen Keller.

  16. Phoenician in a time of Romans Says:

    I ran into this after a long day at work. Now I know how the Israelites felt freed from the Egyptians.

  17. godlessgirl Says:

    I have a headache and a bruise. It really makes me understand the bubonic plague.

  18. Holland Resident Says:

    I live in Holland, Michigan, therefore I am represented by Peter Hoekstra.
    My congressman is now a meme.

    The man is a douche.

    I once watched Pete Hoekstra speak at my local high school.
    He said he studied Islam, and therefore fully understood the situation in Iraq and how to solve it.

    As you can imagine, this stupidity goes back before his little tweet.

  19. MadBear Says:

    My cat peed on my bed. Now I know how it feels to work in German porn.

  20. Experimentium Says:

    First they come for the @ follows..


    Photo by MagsMac from http://www.magsmacncheese.com

    Tweet via Experimentium

  21. greyweirdo Says:

    The kitten just bit my thumb when I was playing with her. Now I know what all those Christians who were fed to lions by the Romans went through.

  22. Josh Morgan Says:

    @petehoekstra My sleeping bag flooded w/ water while I was in it. Now I know how a douchebag feels (like someone who tweets out his @$$)

  23. Elton Says:

    Stubbed my toe on the coffee table and the horror of the Titanic flooded my mind.

  24. SummerofGeorge Says:

    There was a pimple on my nose when I woke up this morning.

    Now I know what Joseph Merrick must have gone through.

  25. simplyirenic Says:

    Tripped over the front of my car this morning. Now I know what Tiananmen Square felt like.

  26. blogenfreude Says:

    My cat scratched me this morning. Now I know what Siegfried and Roy felt like when that tiger mauled on of them.

  27. BobR Says:

    I got water in my nose while showering this morning – now I know how it feels to be waterboarded.

  28. BlueRidge Says:

    The bus was pretty crowded this morning. Now I finally understand why Rosa Parks is a hero.

  29. DanF Says:

    My boss just asked me to update our departmental web page… It’s like being in a gulag.

  30. Jenise Says:

    I’m tired today. Now I know what it feels like to have leukemia.

  31. jcangany Says:

    @petehoekstra opened a taxi door for a woman and her daughter this morning. now i know what it means to miss your lifeboat on the Titanic.

  32. daryljfontaine Says:

    I said something stupid today and my wife laughed at me. Now I know what it’s like to be Pete Hoekstra.


  33. blogenfreude Says:

    Another GOP douchebag.

  34. SaintStryfe Says:

    I cleaned out my closet today. It’s similar to government reform.

  35. Sean Says:

    A friend got too close to my face when lighting my cigarette. Now I know just how the Hindenburg passengers felt.

  36. blogenfreude Says:

    The peach I was saving for lunch went bad – now I know how the people of Somalia feel.

  37. Bison Says:

    Someone took my parking space so I had to walk all the way from Lot B.

    Now I know what the Bataan Death March felt like.

  38. Mia Says:

    I just stubbed my toe today. Now I know how a leper feels.

  39. Rebecca Rose Says:

    You know, I stubbed my toe today. Now I know what Joan of Arc felt like.

  40. kuronosan Says:

    Unplugged my air conditioner today. Now I know what Terri Schiavo had to go through.

  41. Rebecca Rose Says:

    Climbed up in my attic this morning to put away a box. I think I’m going to publish diary of ordeal, just like Anne Frank.

  42. Heywood Jabuzzoff Says:

    My pool raft flipped over yesterday. Now I know how they felt on the USS Arizona.


    Last winter I had to walk to the mailbox in the snow. Now I know how they felt at the Battle of Chosin Reservoir.

  43. notadmblnd Says:

    I stubbed my toe today.Now I know how Kunta Kinte felt when the slave master cut off his foot.

  44. Agent 613 Says:

    I just missed my train this morning. Now I know what a death row inmate feels like when an expected stay of execution doesn’t arrive in time.

  45. fibrowitch Says:

    I just spent 4 days in the hospital after a lupus flair. Now I understand what Terri Schiavo’s family went through.

    And I guess I understand what Terri herself felt like… Except my brain never melted into goo, and I was like awake and responsive most of the time.

  46. jpisthedude Says:

    @petehoekstra My cat bit me on the toe. Now I know how Roy Horn felt.


  47. Balty Says:

    I accidentally dropped a $20 bill on the way home. Now I know what the great depression was like.

  48. KT Says:

    it was drizzling this morning and i didn’t bring an umbrella – now i know what khalid sheikh mohammed went through getting waterboarded 183 times.

  49. Josephine Says:

    It’s going to be pouring in New York City all this week. Now we all know how Khalid Sheikh Mohammed felt being waterboarded 183 times in one month.

  50. Erin Says:

    Had to get up early for work today and didn’t have time for breakfast. It’s just like being a prisoner in a North Korean gulag.

  51. Kate Says:

    @petehoekstra i skipped breakfast this morning b/c i was late, now i know what famine feels like.

  52. Kate Says:

    I missed the bus and had to walk home from work today. Now I know what it was like on the Trail of Tears.

  53. JLA Says:

    I went to the beach today and a wave came up and got part of my beach blanket wet. Now I know how all those tsunami vicitims felt.

  54. nikdances Says:

    I just slammed my hand in the car door, now I know how Aron Rolston felt.

  55. neuralsate Says:

    I just read A Brief History of Time. Now I know what it’s like to have Lou Gehrig’s disease.

  56. Jessie Says:

    Don’t you guys have anything better to do? When I read that tweet of his, I knew what he was saying. He was basically pointing out how twitter is now allowing people to release information from places that are normally forbidden. None of you got that??? Geez.

    • damnedyankee Says:

      Welcome to the internet. Statements of absurd grandiosity will be mocked relentlessly. This is your only warning.

    • samlang Says:

      Jessie’s defending a Congressman’s right to say something stupid without being mocked.

      Jessie’s just like Clarence Darrow in Inherit the Wind.

    • Max Robespierre Says:

      We will never miss the opportunity to smack a Republican when it presents itself.

  57. alexa-blue Says:

    Burnt my steak at the barbecue. Oh, the humanity!

  58. mns Says:

    Lost my Congressional seat in 2010, guess I know how Black people felt under Jim Crow.

  59. beo Says:

    My sister listened to my phone conversation at breakfast today. Now I know what it’s like to be wiretapped and spied upon by the government.

  60. Chris Says:

    Saw some guy step over the line last night when I was cosmic bowling. Reminded me of the time I saw my best friend cross a trip wire and die face down in the muck in Vietnam.

  61. Carmela Says:

    Today I took a sip of water and it went down the wrong way, now I know what it feels like to be waterboarded.

  62. StephJBee Says:

    @petehoekstra the campaign of ridicule against you reminds me somewhat of the persecution of Jews in Nazi Germany

  63. Charles Says:

    @petehoekstra The bus pulled away as I ran to the stop even though I was yelling. It was just like MLK in Montgomery.

  64. Pierre Says:

    I was walking in the brush the other day and some branches were poking at me. Now I know what Jesus must’ve felt when he was being whipped by the Romans.

  65. Michael Anderson Says:

    I dove in my pool and got water up my nose…now I know what it feels like to be waterboarded.

  66. Charles Says:

    @petehoekstra My wife turned on the dishwasher while I was showering this morning. It was just like an interrogation at Abu Ghraib.

  67. Wendy Says:

    Chipped a nail. I feel so close to victims of sharia.

  68. pyry Says:


    @petehoekstra unintentionally created a new heckling meme. Now he must know how Ahmadinejad feels.

  69. Mary Says:

    Who knew Iranian protestors would be rounded up and required to apologize to Rush Limbaugh later?

  70. Danimal Says:

    I just had to choose between getting a new dog or moving into an all expense paid luxury condo. Now I understand the dilemma of Sophie’s Choice.

  71. Serolf Divad Says:

    Burned my thumb on the stove this morning, similar to what Jean of Arc went through when she was burned at the stake.

  72. El Duder Loco Says:

    Ghandi had it easy, I haven’t had a twinkie for FIVE minutes!

  73. Fnerfette Says:

    The women’s bathroom at my office is out of order. Now I understand apartheid.

  74. David Claiborne Says:

    OMG Thank you… this is my new favorite website, LOL…

    I had to pay an extra 1 percent in sales tax on my sub sandwich today because it was toasted…. now I know why the founding fathers started a revolution.

  75. BklynBorn Says:

    i had a huge can of Red Bull today before my miniature golf game. now i know how sammy sosa felt.

  76. TimothytheGood Says:

    Slipped on the plastic seat covers in my gramma’s car this morning, now I know how Jackie Kennedy felt…

  77. Jay Stewart Says:

    My lover gave me a blowjob, now I know how Bill Clinton felt.

  78. Lolo Says:

    They took away my gmail at work. Now I know how Ghandi feels.

  79. S Says:

    Landscapers are spraying pesticide in the bushes under my office window and it is making my eyes water, now I know what Agent Orange felt like.

  80. Bywalabear Says:

    @petehoekstrat I was taking a sip of water while laughing at you and it went down the wrong pipe, now I know what water boarding is like.

  81. VA Wolf Says:

    @petehoekstra I bumped my head on a doorway today; now I know EXACTLY what JFK felt in Dallas! What, too soon? #GOPfail

  82. Steph Says:

    The hairstylist cut my hair too short today, now I know what’s it’s taking chemotherapy.

  83. Timmer Says:

    There were 2 spiders in my shower this morning. Now I know how they felt at the Alamo.

  84. jonathan_ross Says:

    @petehoekstra Someone farted in the elevator this morning. Now I know what the Auschwitz gas chambers were like.

  85. Geoffrey Says:

    “I was ribbed by some friends a few days ago all in good fun, now I know what its like to be @petehoekstra today …”

  86. Dan Udey Says:

    Here are my two from today:

    Got a country song stuck in my head. Must be just like having post-traumatic stress disorder after serving in the Vietnam war.

    Elevator was out of order so I had to take the stairs to the 2nd floor. Now I know what Edmund Hillary went through.

  87. Hutch Says:

    I once had my Highschool Headmaster compare his recently broken arm to the events of the Holocaust. True Story. Pete Hoekstra wasn’t my headmaster, but they must have roomed in college.

  88. Heather Says:

    @petehoekstra I reported my neighbor for sprinkler violations, so I am just like our armed forces: spreading freedom and upholding justice.

    @petehoekstra I knocked over an ant hill at lunch, so now I know what it felt like to build the Hoover dam

    @petehoekstra Got water in my nose while swimming, just like those tsunami victims

    @petehoekstra Got a stitch in my side while running, which is just like Jesus being stabbed in the side

  89. martinpiracy Says:

    I had a ‘curry arse’ today. Now I know what Pete Hoekstra’s face cheeks must feel like.

  90. Rowza Says:

    Someone made the office coffee too strong this afternoon. Reminds me of when they forced Socrates to drink poison hemlock.

  91. Sierra Matt Says:

    In response to my sniffling this morning, a colleague asked, “Got a cold?”

    Now I know what victims of the Spanish Inquisition went through.

  92. Jeremy Says:

    Waterloo Day today commemorating 40,000 British killed/wounded/missing similar to last week when I punched Tony Blair in the face.

  93. Megan Says:

    While rinsing my hands, the water got slightly too hot. Now I totally know how those buddhist monks felt when they burned themselves alive.

  94. thehim Says:

    Some Iranian dude at a club told me a boring story when I needed to use the pisser. Now I know how the hostages felt.

  95. Castille Says:

    Jehova’s Witnesses came knocking at my door this morning, very similar to when the first crusaders came to call on the citizens of Antioch.

  96. samlang Says:

    I got a papercut today. Now I know how Ron and Nicole felt when OJ slashed their throats.

  97. Tim Says:

    I bit my tongue today. Now I know how Robert Shaw felt in “Jaws.”

  98. Dan Says:

    I’m a Democrat/Republican living in the US during the Bush/Obama administration. Now I know what living in the Soviet Union was like.

  99. samlang Says:

    I parallel parked my car today. Now I know what it’s like to land a 747 on the Hudson.

  100. Roland Says:

    @petehoekstra I wrote 5 pages of documentation today. Now I know what Leo Tolstoy felt like when writing War and Peace.

  101. M Says:

    Not mine, but:

    “These bug bites on my arms are really itchy and annoying. This must be what a malaria outbreak in Zimbabwe is like.”

  102. Targa Says:

    I bumped my head on my car while putting my daughter in her car seat. Now I know how Vic Morrow felt when the helicopter rotor decapitated him.

  103. Bill Says:

    I called my congressman today to ask if he would pay attention to what is important to the American people, just like Pete Hoekstra.

  104. Comrade E.B. Misfit Says:

    Power went out for four hours last winter. It was like being at Valley Forge.

  105. Sara Says:

    My bank was about to close, so I ran up to the door and they let me in. Now I know what the Storming of the Bastille was like

  106. eRockbart Says:

    I got a friend request today. It’s like I’m a Jonas Brother.

    I ran into my coffee table. Now I know what Princess Diana felt like.

    I said something stupid today. I’m just like a Republican Congressman from Michigan.

  107. Dave Says:

    Grill smoke blew in my face. Now I know how the Romans felt at Pompeii.

  108. Cayobo Says:

    @Pete Hoekstras (R-tarded):

  109. MsRy Says:

    I have bronchitis in June. Now I know what the Black Plague was like.

  110. Nyanyan Says:

    I wore a fez today for fun. Now I know what it feels like to be arrested for wearing one after they were banned by Mustafa Kemal Ataturk.

    I listened to some Greek music today. Now I know how it feels to be shot down in the water attempting to swim to a life boat when Smyrna was invaded in 1922.

    My crush walked out of my arms when I tried to hug him yesterday. Now I know how it feels to be Bukharin March 15, 1938.

    I fell asleep today. Now I understand what it felt like when Friedrich the Great died.

    There was a blackout this morning. Now I understand how the Bosnians felt about 15 years ago.

    I hurt myself today by accident. Now I know how the kamikaze pilots felt at Pearl Harbor.

    I tried to find my teacher upstairs, he wasn’t there, and then another teacher yelled at me ’cause I wasn’t supposed to be up there during testing. Now I know how Bloody Sunday(1905) felt.

    (I could do this all day.. x’D)

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: